Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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