I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
