Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He kissed a someone with a penis
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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