I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
foreskin is a definite game changer
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
