Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
