I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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