If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
