see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
