yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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