well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
