I think I died a long time ago.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
