Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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