the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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