Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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