Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
her facebook's as public as her vagina
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
