Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
