im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
