Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
50% drunk capacity currently
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
