You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
