Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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