She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Randomize
