Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
