you mean i was at the winter classic?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
