Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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