everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Bring me that man meat
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