The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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