gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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