im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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