I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
