How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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