I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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