life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
