i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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