she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
