I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
