If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
