brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
