mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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