i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
