Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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