Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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