just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
