chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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