real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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