I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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