I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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