so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
