you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
