It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
