I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
