We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
